made me plunge necessarily in the writings of Sri Aurobindo, certainly for allowing the being to find more plenitude and wideness of effective knowledge.
It was then the moment where I started to accept suddenly the Writing of Sri Aurobindo; I ordered in one go all that was then translated in french of his works and I swallowed it during one year of happiness. In these waters of youth with privileged and rare moments, I was able to face this so little divine materialism of our occident, occident so limited and closed in its powerful barricades of its well armoured and scoured mental. Yet I still lived this space of beauty in solitude, more and more separated even from the world around me and especially very far from the original vibration that made it emerged and born. After a first book of poetry in 97 I was led to look for a source in India and again in Auroville for some times that could wipe away this suffering of a being still so dispersed and so little unified and especially so isolated. To find Auroville back with more knowledge and trust, certain ambiguities already present and underlying during our first visit became more clear and pronounced in its shade. Although being rather withdrawn and solitary and not being in search of exterior contacts with inhabitants of this place — and maybe exactly because of that — we meanwhile discovered and met sufficiently flagrant and pronounced incoherencies eventhough the speech given here appeared paradoxically well fitting and right in its formulation; we had to discover this famous ‘the Mother has said’ which took a more and more burdensome and incoherent shape of what surrounded us and did not really correspond of what we saw truly in it. (Saturday November the 3rd, Samâdhi PM, lettre à une Auroville, pages 22 to 24)
Yet, at every visit that we made in Auroville, it was clear, imperative and without any ambiguity that we would not have to settle there, in any case not for the moment.

Coming back in France with this suffocation that we can experience from mental arrogance in its full expression of Ignorance and ourselves in it well bounced and irresolute, we have to recognize it. Meanwhile the germ of this yoga had started to grow and the position of our Desire encountered more and more difficulties to live and to express itself. Again in July-August 99 return to Auroville where this time it was answered inwardly to us to think about joining it and participating in it — a little surprised yet of this so sudden and unexpected move; we lived as by chance (if only it could exist that one!) the most difficult year of our teacher carrier to try to survive in a so flagrant and unbearable atmosphere of falsehood and bad faith that made us take the pretty rapid decision without little hesitation to ask to the Entry-Group, the actual organism to access to Auroville, the obtaining of an entry-visa to start